


mute. death. noise.

by liriouimh



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Sick Character, Suicidal Thoughts, Vomiting, violent themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29723118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liriouimh/pseuds/liriouimh





	mute. death. noise.

mute. death. noise.

I'm deaf cause I listen to my music too loud  
I listen to my music too loud to drown out my thoughts  
But my thoughts overpower the noise  
And drown out the music.  
It's not supposed to be like this.  
Can't I just listen to my music in peace?

It'd be better than listening to my voice.

I wish I could be mute.  
Or at least deaf so then I can't hear any of the world's bullshit.  
My vocal cords to be ripped out and never get them back.  
My throat to be slashed by my sister's violin bow and have to communicate by pen and paper.  
Then I wouldn't be able to hear my voice.  
No one ever would.  
Every night, I wish to wake up in the morning with no vocal chords  
Or for something big and bad to happen, whose fault is my talkings mistake so then I would have a valid reason to never use it besides hating it.  
I wish to not stutter anymore and lose my words or get them caught in my mouth on the way out.

I'd rather be in

The basement of a hospital in an abandoned city on the other side of the world  
It would be better than this.  
Just fall asleep and let the radiation take over.  
Or steal a Reese's pieces to eat in bed and slowly suffocate in the comfort of my bedroom.  
Or even travel to England and walk through the poison gardens. See which plant is the quickest and most painless way to die.

But I am in pain.

I'm achin, painin, crackin and clickin.

I can't move my mouth.  
I'm forced silent.  
My face is dry and cracks when I try to move.

The shivering when sitting as close as possible to a heater.  
Everything is burning and itchy but if you itch, it burns.  
I can't move. Everything hurts.  
I can't eat. I'll throw up.  
I want to sleep but I'm exhausted.  
I need to get up instead of staying in the fetal position.  
My jaw is clamped shut and my insides are coming out.  
I ran. There was a Go Go Go and I ran.  
No one spoke of it.  
One said to give me a break.  
I didn't want to be there.  
It's happening again.


End file.
